Paranoia by the Paradox
by KosmicKinsei
Summary: A few of the Organization members have found Fanfiction! OH MY GAWD! What will they find and how will they react? Won 5th place in the FP Writing Challenge #1!


♥--Paranoia by the Paradox--♥

It was a box.

A box, with squeaky styrofoam nuts in it and... a computer.

The main question running through the scientist's head was: for what purpose? Nevertheless, he took it out of the box and set it up. He had worked with computers before, but he couldn't understand the reason they (the Organization) would need one. For finding information? Or... no. Axel wouldn't pay that much munny to buy a machine in order to reflect on Vexen's "ancient" complexion, both figuratively and literally.

Lights flashed before him, radiating off of the shiny monitor. The speakers formed a pretty tune as he got the computer set up.

After an hour of tedious assembling, a small, shadowed figure teleported in, carrying... a box.

"Vexen, this is for you." the blonde Nobody turned around in his chair, staring at the other. The small figure glanced over at the monitor. "What are you doing?"

"Another box?" the blonde groaned.

"Vexen, why are you setting up a computer? And what's in this box?" the figure shook the box a little. Vexen shrugged.

"My guess is that it has something to do with this computer. It's possible our Superior sent this." the Scholar continued typing away at the gray keyboard as the other Nobody set down the box next to the new computer.

"I'll give him a call." but suddenly, another figure appeared next to him. He had his hood down, revealing messy, auburn hair.

"Got back from training." he walked over and glanced at the small symbols on the screen. "I just found this message in our mail. Something for Vexen."

Vexen snatched away the letter. "Thank you, Lexaeus." he ripped open the letter and unfolded the letter. He blinked at the first sight of the writing. "Xemnas. I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"Our Superior gave us a computer. I'm assuming this box--" the smaller figure poked the small box with almost nothing written on it, "--is a modem to connect to the Internet."

The Scholar handed the letter to the small Nobody and began slicing through the box with scissors. He pulled out the black modem, brushing away any nuts still stuck on it. Within a matter of time, cords, manuals and Vexen's knack for setting up machines, he had the Internet running. "He wants us to go to this website..." he muttered to his colleagues, typing the address and slamming the 'Enter' key. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms in patience.

"What site?" Lexaeus asked, resting a hand on the desk.

"Something called..." Vexen paused, possibly for dramatic effect. "... Fanfiction dot net."

Suddenly, orchestrated music began blaring in the background.

"... What?"

"You heard me; I said..." he stared at the screen before him. "... FanFiction... dot net."

More shrilling music.

"... What is 'FanFiction'?" the younger inquired. He squished the box and threw it in a random portal. Cue cat screeching in the background...

"A website with stories written... about us."

... and more music.

"Us?"

"Us. And the others, too."

The silver-haired man stared. "But-but why?"

"I don't know, Zexion, but Xemnas is guessing that these writers may have unlocked a secret towards gaining our hearts back. It is a risk, going through this place, but in the end, it may be worth it." he clicked on the 'Search' bar and scrolled through the categories until he found 'Kingdom Hearts'.

"So... people know we exist... ?"

"Or lack thereof, yes. If I'd a heart, my mouth would be on the floor from shock, by now."

The Schemer placed a finger near his chin in astonishment. "Amazing... so these people are stalking us..."

"I'm not sure who or how, but it is certainly worth investigating," Lexaeus added. He took the larger box and discarded it by using a portal. Cue monkey screeching...

"Hold on - I found something."

... and dramatic music.

Zexion shoved Vexen from the monitor. "What!?"

Vexen pushed him away. "A piece of fanfiction entitled 'Sugar & Yaoi'."

Pause.

"_'Sugar & Yaoi'_?" V and VI repeated in unison.

"Yes. The summary says it's about XIII and VIII discovering fanfiction."

Another pause.

"... Isn't yaoi an explicit genre targeted towards teenage girls?"

"How did you know?"

"Well, I remember when Aleus used to use the computer for research."

"And... ?"

"It frequently came up somewhere in the search bar..."

Yet another pause.

"He searched this stuff?" Zexion raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"No, no! It came up randomly."

Zexion tried to hide a chuckle. "That kind of stuff doesn't come up randomly, Lexaeus."

"V and VI... back on topic, please." Vexen clicked on the story as both he and his colleagues read the text.

_And then Roxas clicked on the story as both he and his best friend read the text. The story left them with eyes bulging and blood spewing forth from the young blonde's nose. _

"Man, Axel, I don't know why these fangirls do this to us, but it has to stop!" he wiped the red liquid from his nose with a napkin.

"We should totally burn them to death for making us this way!" Axel's hands summoned his chakrams. "Let's go!" he ordered.

---

A/N: Aww, poor Roxas and Axel. This is what they get when fangirls snort up sugar... Please review! I'll have the next chapter up soon. :) 

Zexion took sudden control of the mouse and dragged the page up. "Let's see what these people have to say..."

Three pairs of eyes stared at the screen for several minutes, with one hand scrolling down the page.

"Look at these people," Vexen mumbled, staring at one review.

It read:

_Okay, you know what? If you don't like it, don't read it. There's a thing called the 'Back' button. We're gonna keep writing yaoi whether you like it or not. It's FANFICTION, and who are you to say we can't, huh? Huh? HUH??? _

Yeah. Thought so. 

"But what does this have to do with gaining our hearts back?" Lexaeus asked, backing away from the monitor.

Vexen only shrugged and spun the chair around to meet their faces. "It was worth a look." he sighed.

Minutes went by, and Vexen kept looking at the various fanfiction much like the one before. The other two sat in resting chairs; Zexion, sitting cross-legged and contemplating in a very Winnie-the-Pooh-esque fashion; and Lexaeus, who's just sitting there, totally _not_ regretting the words he spouted earlier - y'know, 'cause he's a Nobody, and Nobodies can't feel and all that jazz.

Just then, one of them snapped his fingers.

"I got it!" Vexen turned around, so quick he almost fell out of his chair.

"What is it?!"

"Don't you see?" he stood up from his chair. "They've created a chain!"

"A chain of what?" Vexen inquired.

The Schemer walked over to the Scholar, waving his hands around. "When they make fanfiction about us reading fanfiction about us reading fanficion about us reading fanfiction about us reading fanfiction-"

"Get to the point, Zexion."

The slate-haired man grabbed both of the scientist's shoulders. "-they've made a circle. A circle... of fanfiction."

More dramatic music.

"And..." he drawled.

"It's like a never-ending paradox!" Vexen rubbed his temples.

"But _what_ does this have to do with our hearts?"

"... I don't know," Zexion replied. "But I assure you this is what Xemnas wanted us to study into."

Lexaeus also stood up. "So who is real?"

Vexen glared at the Silent Hero. "What?"

"Who are the real Nobodies? We may be made of nothing, but we still _are_. So how do we know whether _we_ are written or not, or are being written at this moment?"

"Yes... are we but a story?" Zexion repeated. "Maybe... maybe we can-" he paused himself, standing there like he was frozen in time. Vexen shook him by the shoulder.

"We can what?"

The Schemer shook his head, realizing what he had just blurted out. "Never mind. Just... never mind." And then there was a dramatic pause between the three, until the Schemer muttered: "I'm going to, uh... make dinner." and teleported out. Then the silence ensued.

Much later, V and VI went off to do chores, and Vexen was left to research. Here is a list of things he recently discovered: nothing, nothing and... nothing!

"IV?"

The Scholar spun his head around, revealing dark circles and bloodshot eyes. "What, Superior?" he twitched.

Xemnas put his hands in his pockets and walked closer to Vexen. "I am just checking up on you. Have you found anything new?"

Vexen turned his head back to the monitor and made no noise, save for the clicking of the mouse. Xemnas raised one of his silver eyebrows. "Nothing at all? That is... unlike you."

Vexen only shook his head in reponse, biting his lower lip. "No."

A faint aroma caught Xemnas's attention; Zexion was in the other room, not saying a word as he cooked dinner. Xemnas sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and began to portal out. "If I had known it would end like this, I never would have told you."

* * *

**Disclaimer: Any characters, settings, and dialogue from the script belong to Square-Enix and Disney. I have no affiliation with these companies nor Kingdom Hearts. This is purely fan-made material.**

**Please do not put this story on alert. This is a oneshot, meaning it will not be updated.**

**Footnotes: **I love the VexLexZex trio. ;D

Didn't come out as good as I had hoped it to be. Too much dialogue; not enough description. God, I want my thesaurus for Christmas...

This was written for the FP Writing Challenge Numero Uno, and I had to use the line: "If I had known it would end like this, I never would have told you." as the last line in the story. Thankfully, _that_ came out smoother than I thought. I originally had another idea, but I scrapped it; this one looks better. I've been seeing a lot of these "KH cast discover fanfiction" nonsense, and they all seem to end the same, so I wanted to make a different (and more mature) perspective on it (with Lex being a little OOC from it, too - LoLz). They don't have hearts, so it's a safe bet they wouldn't be spazzing out over it. As for Sora... I don't know. XD

Right now, I'm starting to get more plot-bunnies from this... hehehehehehe...


End file.
